How to deal..??

People die, everyday. It is a way of  life. And working in EMS... we see it all the time. Whether death is by natural causes, accidents, crashes, or on purpose. No one likes it.

A couple weeks ago, for the first time, I saw a patient die right in front of me. One minute he was up and talking to me... the next minute he was no longer breathing. My crew and I did all that we could to attempt to bring him back. I was flustered. It tore me up pretty bad- I was mad after the call. It seemed like everything went wrong.

Granted the patient was older, and had a pretty extensive health history. It may have been his time... but I tried to change it and failed.

My partner and I went over the call, talked about everything that happened. Actions that were taken and the outcome. We didn't do anything wrong..... it just happened all on it's own.
Since then, I have talked to a few other medics about the call and they all agree that it seems like I performed all the right things- and we are not to blame. But there is still that little bit of doubt. I think there will always be that bit of doubt when any call goes down hill. Makes me question if I think I am even ready to become a medic.... To have ALL responsibility in my hands.

Until next time be safe out there.