Okay, so I am back. Been a hectic week with work.
Jessica isn't doing so well. Not eating. Not getting out of bed.
I don't know much about cancer. I've done some research, I don't understand it.
Honestly, It also makes me question my faith. Why is it Jessica. Why not me.
What has she done to deserve this!? What's going to happen?
I want answers. It's hard to get them out here in TX.
Another big thing that has crossed my mind. I live in TX. My parents and all my siblings live in SC, and with everything going on with Jessica. Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out. Like I'm out of the loop. I talk to my parents but I feel like I would understand a lot more if I were there at the doctors with them. I don't want to move back. I am so happy here, I have hit the ground running with my career. Getting ready to start Paramedic school. I would have to drop all of what I have going for me. Since Jess has been diagnosed(in August) I've been home once, I just bought a ticket to fly home again at the beginning of December.
As you can tell, a lot of thoughts cross my mind.
I don't want to miss out on what little life she has left.
But I don't want to put my life on hold..
I hope that makes sense.
Until next time
Be safe out there.
it is very hard to understand cancer, when my father had it the people said,"he will have 6 monthes up to a year", he passed away within 3,as far as being out of the loop, i doubt it, your parents love you and are very proud of you, i would be if you were my daughter, as far as being there "it's not as easy as it seem's but the travel there will be worth the trouble that happens", as far as having to give up on stuff, people will understand, plus take a sebaticle, do what you can with her while you can, it will make you feel amazing when you go and think back on those day's of going out there and being there with her doing the things you did with her, that's what it was like for me, be safe steph,
ReplyDeleteyour old friend,
josh